Valley Life

Placenta Prints Are The Worst Parenting Trend Yet

We could handle your prolonged breast feeding plan. We tolerated your Alicia Silverstone-inspired regurgitation diet. But we draw the line -- the crusty, body fluid based-line -- at your placenta art prints...
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We could handle your prolonged breast feeding plan. We tolerated your Alicia Silverstone-inspired regurgitation diet. But we draw the line — the crusty, body fluid based-line — at your placenta art prints.

See also: Vagina Steaming Is the Hottest Spa Treament

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paMNAepa-eQ

Yes, according to Time magazine, the latest trend to take over the bohemian parenting community is easily the most disgusting yet, as creative parents are using their hard earned placenta for arts and crafts.

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The basic process of creating a placenta print entails placing the afterbirth, along with the umbilical cord and potentially your choice of ink, on acid- free paper to create a lasting imprint.

This imprint looks vaguely like a tree which is convenient because, while majority of Western medicine puts placenta in the category of “biowaste,” a growing number of recycle-conscious couples and celebrity midwives are giving it the title “Tree of Life.”

Time goes on to say that once the image created and your discarded insides have dried, families can choose to either “frame and display it as a conversation starter or keep it tucked away as a personal keepsake.”

We vote the latter.

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Incidentally, if having uncomfortable conversations about placenta decor is off the table, there are other means to preserve the memory of your birth and your reputation and weirdo parents including placenta resin pendants and enlarged ultrasound scans as framed artwork.

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