10 Things Phoenix Newbies Say

Transplants don't always immediately understand the nuances of life in Phoenix. Below, check out 10 (laughable) things we've heard from Phoenix newbies over the years:...
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Transplants don’t always immediately understand the nuances of life in Phoenix.

Below, check out 10 (laughable) things we’ve heard from Phoenix newbies over the years:

10.) “I’ll walk there.”

No you won’t. You’ll be driving to anything more than 1,000 feet away.

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9.) “No jalapeños, please.”

Don’t like spicy? You’ll learn.

8.) “These roads are so confusing.”

If you find the roads around Phoenix confusing, you can probably manage to get lost inside your own house.

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7.) “It’s boring here.”

Today’s Monday, and we have a list of

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5.) “Sheriff Arpaio, isn’t he great?”

No, he’s actually a megalomaniac, which you’d know if you ever opened a newspaper here.

4.) “I’ll just leave this in the car.”

Rookie mistake.

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3.) “Back where I’m from . . . “

ZzZZZzzzzzZZZ…..

2.) “Let’s go hiking!” (At 2 p.m. on July 25.)

Everyone learns the hard way that you have to plan around the sun in the summer.

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1.) “It’s too hot.”

False. It is never “too hot.”

Follow Valley Fever on Twitter at @ValleyFeverPHX. Follow Matthew Hendley at @MatthewHendley.

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