When there’s rain, people in Phoenix just seem to lose all control of their vehicles, as evidenced by the many messes people caused on the roadways yesterday.If you’ve ever noticed that people around here really can’t drive in the rain, there are statistics to back that up: Phoenix police say…
In an effort to save a transitional-living facility for homeless female veterans, Democratic Representative Mark Cardenas will be living on the streets of Phoenix this week.Cardenas is joining Seráh Blain, the executive director of local political-advocacy group Secular Coalition for Arizona, who’s been living homeless for several weeks now, in…
The Phoenix Suns will be the most unwatchable team in the NBA, according to USA Today.Yes, that includes the Charlotte Bobcats and a team called the Pelicans…
Republican Congressman Matt Salmon does not support the American military attacking Syria.According to the Arizona Republic’s apparently left-wing columnist, E.J. Montini, that means Salmon’s the kind of guy who would watch Jerry Sandusky rape little kids in the shower at Penn State.What?…
Every time it rains a considerable amount in the Phoenix area, most drivers seem to take a similar approach to the situation.That approach is panic, and a general sense of, OH GOD WHAT DO I DO?…
If you planned on watching the Phoenix Suns this season, it might be time to make new plans.According to USA Today, the Suns will be the most unwatchable team in the NBA…
If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to stand in the middle of a busy intersection, Phoenix resident Shawn Mathews has the alleged recipe: LSD, meth, and a sprinkle of cocaine.According to court documents obtained by New Times, that’s the mixture Mathews explained to the cops, after he fought with…
The Carson Palmer era for the Arizona Cardinals started off with a 24-27 loss to the St. Louis Rams. Yippee.Nearly all of the major problems with the Cardinals last year — a mostly incompetent offensive line, sub-par running game, poor tackling, bad pass defense, and general sucking — all returned…
Vice President Joe Biden thinks former Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano is a good fir for the Supreme Court of the United States.Considering the rumor was that Napolitano was on Obama’s short list for the spot before, it wouldn’t be surprising to see her in the running again, if there were…
Welcome to Courthouse Update, a weekly rundown goings-on at the Maricopa County Superior Court.This week, Debra “Death-Row Debbie” Milke is out of jail, two people were found guilty of murder, a man with bad excuses for hitting a bicyclist gets his punishment, and more:…
Today in Found at the Border: Officers at the U.S./Mexico border busted one of the more unusual border-crossing attempts in recent memory yesterday.According to Customs and Border Protection, a 35-year-old Mexican man jumped into a large shipment of chili peppers, and went-face down into the peppers in his attempt to…
Vice President Joe Biden thinks former Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano should be on the Supreme Court of the United States.If Biden actually believes that, then it looks like he might not have too much sway over his boss, who has nominated two justices to the Supreme Court, neither of them…
Senator John McCain appears to be down with marijuana legalization.Hey, instead of a legacy as the guy who was always trying to send the country’s military to some country you’ve never heard of, how about a legacy as the guy who spearheaded marijuana prohibition?…
Police say a Phoenix woman claimed to be an FBI agent when she was found with thousands of dollars of extremely fake cash.According to court documents obtained by New Times, the wannabe FBI agent kind of blew her cover when she was seen taking a piss in the parking lot…
At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert’s own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we’ll take care of the rest.This week, we suggest better alternatives for our…
The Arizona Cardinals are undefeated thus far in 2013, most likely due to the fact that the first game isn’t for two more days.The 2012 season wasn’t much of a disappointment, since disappointments require having high hopes in the first place — something Cardinals fans had maybe once…
A 17-year-old national boxing champion who was training for the 2016 Olympics has died.Phoenix police say Alexis Urbina-Ochoa’s death is currently being treated as a homicide, although the autopsy results still aren’t in…
Despite the actions of Republican Senators John McCain and Jeff Flake, their constituents oppose military action in Syria, according to poll results.The Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted yesterday to pass a resolution that would authorize a military strike against Syria, and both McCain and Flake, who are on that committee,…
The Arizona Cardinals are best in the league at something, and it’s certainly not offense, defense, or special teams.No, the Cards are the best in the league at avoiding being arrested…
If your commute was ruined by traffic on Interstate 10 this morning, we’ll tell you that the culprit has been revealed as aluminum cans.Like, a lot of aluminum cans, which covered several lanes of traffic near the Salt River Bridge…
A man caught masturbating in front of a whole bunch of schoolchildren in Phoenix didn’t understand what the problem was, police say.To clarify, police say Ronald Dean told officers he didn’t understand what the problem was while he was smoking crack in an alley behind the school with his pants…
In case you haven’t already called it a season, it certainly looks like the Arizona Diamondbacks’ season is toast.After a walk-off win yesterday, the Diamondbacks were 7 1/2 games behind for the second wild-card spot in the National League, with 24 games left on the schedule…
