An ass on an ass? Schmidt in better days, from his Web site. Could it be another of David Hans Schmidt’s publicity stunts? Yet, there it is in black and white on my ‘puter, the news that the celebrity sex-tape hawker was found dead in his PHX home of an…

One step ahead of the Sheriff: Chief Dan Saban in his CHiPs getup. Buckeye Police Chief Dan Saban, Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s once and future foe, may be able to breathe a tad easier this weekend. Seems a draft ordinance preventing Buckeye town employees from running for elective office will not…

The satirical image of Joe as a Klansman that made media headlines in August. Sheriff Joe’s on the warpath against illegals, so much so he’s not even bothering to wait for new anti-day laborer laws to take effect in the bigoted burg of Cave Creek. Hell, he’s already harassing workers…

Note the similarity? Just saw this bit in the ASU State Press about PHX Mayor Phil “Goober” Gordon speaking at the Central Library yesterday, where he “discussed making the city a safer place for members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community.” The occasion was a forum addressing hate-crime…

Elissa Wall, a.k.a., Warren Jeffs’ Jane Doe… Pardon me if I crow like the Feathered Bastard that I am, but what was all over the news last night but 21-year-old Elissa Wall, formerly known as Jane Doe in the press, addressing a horde of reporters? This was, of course, following…

Cpt. John Birch, Baptist, U.S. intelligence officer, and inventor of the missionary position. It isn’t often that someone contradicts themselves so blatantly in the comments to this blog as has Bryan Turner, the AZ state coordinator for the John Birch Society, whom I met Saturday as he was manning the…

Michael Israel’s Lady Liberty, painted live on the premises. “So where are the slaves and the dead Indians?” That was my first thought on arrival at Mesquite High School this Saturday evening for Gilbert’s 6th annual Constitution Week Fair, an event celebrating America’s founding document, with George and Martha Washington…

Jeez, dudes, get a room! J.T. Ready and Russell Pearce snuggling at an anti-immigrant rally in June. Have you seen Russell Pearce’s new toupee? Pearce sports his new rug on his Pearce for Congress Exploratory Committee Web site. He also loses the glasses in an obvious attempt to look younger…

Elissa Wall, age 14, in a photo released by her lawyers. As the jury in the rape-as-accomplice trial of FLDS leader Warren Jeffs recessed for the weekend, attorneys for his accuser revealed her name, Elissa Wall. They also provided a photo of Wall at age 14, one just published in…

Who gets the blame for Officer Erfle’s murder? According to nativist wing-nut logic, they do! I’ve heard the anonymous voice before. The cowardly creep has called in to my phone mail previously to tell me why the Holocaust never happened, why Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy after all, why…

Look at this incompetent putz. No wonder our cops are getting killed right and left. They say Nero fiddled while Rome burned, and Phil “Goober” Gordon suns himself in the tropics and passes the buck as PHX cops are boldly shot down during daylight in the center of the city…

It doesn’t have quite the same ring as “Banned in Boston,” but Phoenix New Times could be “Banned in the Chandler Library” if this dip Larry Edwards gets his way. Edwards is reportedly the prig who complained to the Chandler Library about New Times being on the shelves of the…

Slain PHX Police Officer Nick Erfle. Like you needed more proof we live in the Wild Wild West: PHX Police Officer Nick Erfle was shot dead Tuesday morning in Central Phoenix, during rush hour, after stopping a man for jaywalking, and attempting to arrest him for priors. This was near…

Supporters of convicted Border Patrol Agents Ignacio “Nacho” Ramos and Jose Compean often tout the case as a miscarriage of justice, an instance where two true-blue BPAs ended up the victims of an overzealous prosecutor. As I stated in my recent Bird column “Anti-Heroes,” it’s obvious from the transcripts of…

El Diablo… Still wicked… The true victim… Is Laurie Roberts trying to sprout a conscience? Does she no longer wish to be the Repugnant’s soccer-momish Queen of Mean? On Wednesday, she was decrying ASU Prez Michael Crow for using private donations to fund undocumented students. She claimed Crow was thumbing…

Fred Goldman on Oprah: If you spot him in the men’s section at Nordstrom, don’t ask to try on the size 12 Bruno Maglis… Anyone catch the Valley’s most famous Nordstrom employee on Oprah yesterday? I’m talking about the silver-mustachioed Fred Goldman, father of O.J. Simpson-victim Ron. See, Goldman, who…

Dean Martin’s new song: Everybody hates somebody sometime… Immediately after AZ State Treasurer Dean Martin was informed by The Arizona Republic that ASU’s Michael Crow was helping undocumented students with private funds, ya know what he said? “Taxpayers should not have to foot the bill for them, and this is…

Go back to Mexico, honors students! And take your little dog, Toto, too… I could envision Arizona Republic columnist Laurie Roberts turning over Jews to the Gestapo. This is assuming she jumped in the way-back machine and time-traveled to Hitler’s Germany. After all, that was the law back then, right?…

Give ’em hell, Yoda… Just listened to the Yoda of 9/11, aka Pat Curley, on The World Tonight with Rob Breakenridge, an excellent radio talk-show out of Calgary. The subject, of course, is those wacky troofers, and Breakenridge and Curley get into some interesting areas during the hour-long segment. Of…