DJ Blonde Noize tearin’ up the decks as I get wasted on GINORMOUS DOLLAR WELLS! If you’re wondering why the blog posts are kinda light right around now, that’s because the Feathered Bastard is hard at work, tap-tapping out Best of Phoenix entries for the highly-anticipated issue of the same…

Guess which one is the bottom… Why any Democrat in his or her right mind would vote for a Democrat in Name Only (DiNO) such as Phil “Goober” Gordon is beyond me. It’s bad enough that he endorsed asshole wingnut Andy “Candy” Thomas for County Attorney in 2004, and that…

Me with the mega-fine Brea Lynn on my shoulder… At the invite of the party people at Marquee Entertainment**, I stopped by E4 in Scottsdale Saturday night to wish Vivid contract star and former Chandler girl Brea Lynn a happy 21st b-day. Lynn moved from Cali to Chandler when she…

Cheesy Fred Thompson goofs big-time with radio ads for LifeLock. Is Fred Thompson smokin’ crack? On the same day the Law and Order star and former Senator is incorporating his presidential committee in Nashville, Tenn., we learn that he’s also shilling for scumbag Robert Maynard, founder of the identity theft…

A pic from Nat’l Geographic of the MCDC fence on a ranch in Naco, Arizona, now the subject of a lawsuit. More troubles for Minuteman Civil Defense Corps Prez Chris Simcox, aka “The Little Prince,” who just recently had to put down a “palace coup” (his words) instigated by Minuteman…

Betcha Max Jarman’s seen his mini-me.. I wonder what it feels like to butt-lick one of the biggest assholes on face of the planet? That’s what I’d like to ask Arizona Republic journo (and I use that word loosely) Max Jarman, after reading his verbal rim-job of Richard Adkerson, CEO…

Smokin’ cheddar: The amazing Dick Cheese with his band, sans Old Spice… Can you smell it, people — the magical aroma of Dick Cheese with Old Spice? Whether loving homage or (more likely) blatant rip-off, the new Old Spice commercial featuring Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell crooning a lounge-y version…

Chuey mixes up a “Chuey special,” with extra Chuey-juice… “It’s like Terri Schiavo night in here,” cracks my pal and personal hero Chuey the Rock ‘n’ Roll Midget. “You know, tryin’ to stay alive.” I glance around. The crowd’s almost two deep at the world’s first ever fully-functioning midget bar,…

J. Edgar Hoover must be rollin’ over in his bloomers: One of his FBI agents, a hardened criminal? That’s the tale told by campus cops at Tucson’s University of Arizona, where Agent Ryan Seese was arrested May 3, shortly after a cleaning lady observed him whackin’ off in the women’s…

Chris Simcox is not in this way-awesome band, but he is in a monkey knife fight… Well, either Chris Simcox was bullshitting me last night by telling me only three MCDC minutemen had been kicked out of his org. ( see my earlier post, “Monkey Knife Fight at the MCDC:…

Now which one is Chris Simcox? It’s a regular monkey knife fight down at the Scottsdale HQ of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps, where alpha male prez Chris Simcox, aka “The Little Prince,” has recently purged anywhere from three to 14 members for revolting against his iron rule and asking…

Gee, Captain Horne, you think we’ll last till September? Though the last thing the PHX metro area needs is less competition among its news entities, that might be what’s coming this summer with the rumored demise of the small-but-scrappy Scottsdale Tribune, the Scottsdale edition of Mesa’s East Valley Tribune. According…

Don’t cry, Stevie. You’ve at least got one good year left… Can there be any doubt two-time MVP Steve Nash is the goat of the series pitting the Suns against arch-rival San Antonio? I know, I know. David Stern’s an ass for penalizing Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for getting…

Will someone pull the dirty ol’ Sheriff away from Paris? For Christ’s sake… I can barely stand to watch CNN news-harpy Nancy Grace as the bizzatch almost always looks like she’s about to bite the head off someone’s baby. But as I was flippin’ channels the other night, I saw…

Yo, Dave, what’s that brown stuff on your lip? Ewww, never mind… Can anyone doubt after last night’s Suns-Spurs donnybrook dat we wuz robbed? Minus Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw, the mighty Suns dominated that game for 40-plus minutes, only running low on solar power towards the very end. As…

A pic of Ashlea Deahl from her www.faceofms.org profile. Deahl suffers from the affliction. Take a gander at Sarah Fenske’s story this week on everyone’s fave jailbird Joe Watson, aka, the Salon Bandit. Fenske nabbed a scoop on what a lot of folks suspected from jump — that Watson’s fiancee…

Goober works the room prior to making Chamber of Commerce chin-music. Most mayors of great cities are not afraid of the press, even a hostile press. Indeed, as much as I despised Rudy Giuliani for various reasons when I was living in New York, I admired the way he’d regularly…

You pay for the paper, and you write the paper! Why? Because the Rep blows, son. One staple of late night comedians like Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, Carson Daly, David Letterman, etc. is a “funny pics” bit where the host will run through a number of photos, offering up amusing…