There’s hope for Yule fans who are too cool for A Christmas Carol, The Nutcracker, and the other holiday-centric fare that fills every theatrical nook and cranny each December. It comes in the form of American Pastorela: The Road to the White House, a satirical take on the Nativity story…
This techno trio will make you want to dance, even when singer Chris Donathen isn’t shouting stuff like “Get down girl, shake it, shake it!” over bumping beats and synthesized programming on songs like “Fscene8,” which sounds like the sonic stepchild of Cher’s “Believe.” The crux of every Medic Droid…
You’ve been really, really bad this year, and you should be spanked hard and ball-gagged. But since we don’t have a dick big enough for the collective you, we’ll have to suffice with torturing your psyche. Meet us at Space 55 Theatre for 7 Minutes Under the Mistletoe, in which…
If you’re a regular reader of New Times, you know that the Phoenix Coyotes don’t get too much ink (okay, no ink whatsoever). Nothing personal, Coyotes. We actually like ice hockey and stuff. It’s just that y’all are so forgettable, like post-Matrix Keanu Reeves. It also doesn’t help that you…
What if you could do anything you wanted to with a local strip mall — the ugliest one, that nasty pile of brick and macadam that blights your vision as you pass it on your way to work every morning? That was the idea behind the “Flip a Strip” design…
So, will you boo Mike D’Antoni or will you cheer him? What’s the etiquette for a man abandoning a listing ship? Yes, the former head coach of the Phoenix Suns did bail in favor of the New York Knicks, but he did it nicely enough. He asked first, in an…
Amar’e Stoudemire (here we go with the name thing again) is constantly bemoaning the fact that he’s not considered in the same league as All-Everything Magic center Dwight Howard. Hey, Amar’e: Here’s another chance to see why you’re not, though it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the…
The Arizona Cardinals won their division. Something’s very wrong with that. Or very right. We can’t decide. Whatever else it is, it’s something the Cards haven’t accomplished since International Women’s Year. That would be 1975 for those not up on your feminist history. Speaking of the fairer sex, the team…
4 p.m.: 5A Division II (Centennial vs. Westview); 8 p.m.: 5A Division I (Hamilton vs. Brophy). Fri., Dec. 12, 2008…
The owner of Chicago’s Scylla and fourth-season winner of Bravo’s Top Chef makes a personal appearance. Wed., Dec. 17, 6:30-9:30 p.m., 2008…
Unless you count “Fairytale of New York” by Shane MacGowan and Sinéad O’Connor — which we don’t, necessarily — what’s the last popular song that entered the collective Christmas consciousness? (Don’t say Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.” Them’s fightin’ words.) And how about Hollywood? The dream factory specializes in pumping out…
Perhaps the sagest songwriting advice ever bestowed to a newbie came not from a how-to book or a multi-platinum recording artist but from some anonymous grizzly guy I saw at an open mic night in Greenwich Village eons ago. After playing two great songs, he sat down to his coffee…
The top 85 JUCO football players from around nation are scheduled to compete in this inaugural all-star game. Celebrity guests scheduled to attend include former Arizona Cardinals Pro Bowler Seth Joyner, former Philadelphia Eagles WR Fred Barnett, and former Dallas Cowboys cornerback Larry Brown (the MVP of Super Bowl XXX)…
Robert X. Planet and Roxanne DeWinter adapt their annual Edgar Allan Poe Halloween shudderfest for the holidays. The spoken-word program includes readings of Poe tales such as The Raven, The Bells, and the Tell-Tale Heart. Sat., Dec. 13, 8 p.m., 2008…
The event includes live music, a fashion show, and crafts. Proceeds benefit the African American Hispanic Health Educational Resource Center and Harmony House. Sat., Dec. 13, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., 2008…
The local glitterati cast off from the shores of Tempe Town Lake at this sparkling annual affair, which features approximately 50 dolled-up watercraft trolling around the big pond. The parade starts at 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 13, 4-9 p.m., 2008…
Many a high jinks-filled road trip has been prefaced with the old axiom that getting there is half the fun. That certainly rings true for the shepherds trekking to catch a glimpse of the newborn baby Jesus in Cultural Coalition’s La Pastorela AriSonora. In the classic Latino retelling of the…
Since the annual tradition of getting sloshed with people you can barely tolerate has been neutered by PC, lawsuit-fearing wimps, the Eastside Records Christmas Party goes balls out to save your soul. Remembering the real reason for the season, California’s Knights of the New Crusade, clad in medieval chainmail, drop…
Ever notice how all of the holiday classics are dominated by males? Scrooge. Charlie Brown. George Bailey. The Grinch. So we were thrilled when we heard that Nearly Naked Theatre’s Times Square Angel features a female lead character – until we found out the role is played by a dude…
It’s December, y’all. Time for holiday cheer, right? Yeah, sure. It’s really time to crank up the aggression to match the surly tone down at the mall checkout lines. But instead of knocking over some poor bloke with your shopping cart, here’s a way to release some aggro in a…
Think of Phoenix as a spreading pool of concrete founded upon a desert. The cement on which we build our lives has come to seem as natural to us as the environment that it’s obscured, and this seemingly uni-functional substance is the main concern of the “Concretion – the sixth…
“Retail” is a six-letter word. Don’t spell it. Don’t speak it. Heaven forbid, don’t pay it. That’s our motto, and the sentiment may be growing on you, too. Problem is, your car has carved a groove from your driveway to the local mall. You’re like a fancy lab rat in…
