Even Darth Vader and tits can’t save Soulcalibur IV from monotony

You hear the same words used over and over to describe Soul Calibur IV, words like “forced.” “Jarring.” “Anachronistic.” But to me, the word that describes shoehorning Darth Vader and Yoda into a game about sentient swords, Renaissance-era combat, and plucky female martial artists is simply “desperate.” That’s not even…

God can’t save you from Nunsense, Amen

I’m not a praying man. If I were, my prayers — especially those offered up after watching a performance of Nunsense, Amen at Desert Stages Theatre earlier this week — might sound something like this: “Deliver us, Lord, from funny nun musicals, especially those in which each of the characters…

Choking Man

This highly touted indie flick by Steve Barron explores the cold-shoulder alienation that the Land of the Free often offers to poor emigres by focusing on the relationship between an Ecuadoran dishwasher and a Chinese waitress in a downtrodden Queens, New York, diner. Presented by the church’s Oasis Film Group…

Sweet 15

Changing Hands Bookstore’s an old hand at connecting real life and book life, reminding us that reading is part of enjoying the world. In that funkified, life-affirming tradition, the Julia Alvarez author event kicks off with a quinceañera fashion show by Azteca Wedding Plaza. After the tiaras, spangles, and big…

Anti-Repressant

You follow a certain routine each Sunday: wake up at the crack of dawn, do some yoga, and eat organic eggs and ham. Then you head off to church and convene with the Lord until the starchy hold of your collar wears out. You spend the rest of the day…

Major Pain

When we recently attended a ballgame between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Chicago Cubs at Chase Field, we were brutally reminded about how obnoxious Cubby fans truly are. The way they carried on, even when their team was behind. So frustrating. Maybe instead of backing a perennial loser, Cubs fans…

Takin’ It to the Street

Tired of building an empire in Grand Theft Auto and never having those riches materialize IRL? The Street Fighter II Video Game Challenge at Bookman’s Phoenix seeks to right that wrong. Purveyors of the classic ’90s head-to-head fighting game – in which a mysterious underworld boss and dictator organize a…

Camp Terminated

While many ASU Sun Devils football fans lament the loss of Camp Tontozona – the team’s annual fall-practice home for the past 48 years – we say good riddance. Now the team may actually be good on a consistent basis. Stick with us here for a moment. The squad can…

The Cool on the Hill

Of the 33 designated Phoenix Points of Pride, the Wrigley Mansion is number 30. We think that’s an undersell. Peaking the meridian of its own 100-foot hillock, it’s a measure of one rich man’s love for his wife, but ask SWAY Events founder and frontman Gary Guerin, and he imagines…

You Sling Tuh-May-Toes, I Sling Tuh-Maw-Toes

At 10 a.m. on the last Wednesday of each August in Buñol, Spain, one man climbs a two-story greased pole to grab the ham on top. This signals a team to fire water cannons, which alert the thousands of people waiting in the city’s streets that it’s time to lob…

Hail the Conquering Heroines

The ladies from the Tempe-based indie-rock trio Juicy Newt are hard to deter. Since 2003 – and despite limited prior experience with their chosen instruments – they’ve been plowing forth with gleeful determination. According to their Web site, the band is driven by a desire for “world domination through rock…

Firewater

There are thousands of idiotic ways to die, but drowning in the desert? Pretty dumb. As a corollary, there must be a million better names for a body of water situated in a sub-basement of hell than Lake Pleasant. But the nomenclature’s not as wacked as it seems, ’cause our…

Potty Crashers

So you’re at a club on a Friday night. Live bands, DJs, hot babes, and drinks galore. But don’t forget the bladders. All of them ready to explode as you wait in an endless line with other bloated bellies. It’s just not a club night without the anticipation of the…

Gag Reflex

If our nights and days at Night & Day have taught us anything, it’s don’t ask comics about comedy. A few members of Mommy Hit Daddy addressed our questions about form and theory, and we’ve chosen to let their responses remain a beautiful and unlitigated mystery. So we asked why…

The Spirit of ’76

Excepting the Rocky series – blah! – we think underdog movies rule. Seabiscuit, Hoop Dreams, The Karate Kid, The Breakfast Club, The Bad News Bears, Dodgeball, The Shawshank Redemption . . . Obviously, then, our palates are primed for Bottle Shock, a fresh indie that sounds like a cross between…

The D List

D.L. Hughley could patent his Checklist to Guaranteed Comedy Fame, yet he’s somehow fallen short of Chris Rock-caliber cachet. Survivor of troubled formative years? Hughley’s a former Bloods gang member. Acclaimed television personality? He was the original ComicView host before tackling both Premium Blend and Def Comedy Jam. Successful big-screen…

Immoral Victory

You took Mom and Dad to South Pacific. You took your niece and nephew to Kung Fu Panda. And, now, you’ve had it up to here with Family-Friendly Entertainment. You want raw, you want raunch, you want adult. A burgeoning gang of actors who dabble in that tricky (but transcendent,…

Prints and the Pauper

They say that those who can’t do, teach. Local artist Sarah Kriehn couldn’t disagree more. She taught elementary art for over 20 years, then retired and started a solo printmaking career. According to Kriehn, it’s not that teachers aren’t talented. The problem is that they just don’t have enough time…

Daydream Believers

Growing up, passing clouds were a parade of endless characters and rocket ships were built from cardboard. Sarah Lowry, Madeline ffitch, and Donna Sellinger keep that spirit of imagination alive with their traveling theater group, The Missoula Oblongata. The three collaborate to script a play of seemingly outlandish ideas and…

Mo’ Better Booze

Somewhere between Middle Ages Germany and now, we managed to transform a simple word for flying through the air on a rope (swanken) into a bebop-and-scat subculture whose adherents strut around mouthing hepcat jive and snapping their fingers a lot. But hey, it’s cool. It’s swank, baby – especially on…

Hot Couture

High fashion in the Phoenix area is still associated with statements like, “Why, yes, I did get this at Macy’s.” In this town, you’re more likely to be judged by the overall hue and breadth of your tan than for your taste in Balenciaga footwear. This may change some when…