Fantasy Football

Right now, many NFL enthusiasts around the country can be found at home crying in their beers, bellyaching about their favorite squad being unceremoniously ousted from championship contention. Or, worse, wagering their children’s college funds on the Super Bowl in hopes of ditching the bad taste left in their mouth…

Skeer Tactics

We ain’t skeered to admit that we gots a bit of white trash in us. We’re also not scared to admit that we say “ain’t skeered.” That’s why we’ll feel tit-high on the hog when metal-monster-truck-crushers Grave Digger, Maximum Destruction, Bulldozer, and more visit for Monster Jam. Sat., Jan. 26,…

Dope Floats

TV mogul Sherwood Schwartz, creator of barking mutts like Gilligan’s Island and The Brady Bunch, can’t let a bad thing go. Consider 2002’s The Brady Bunch in the White House and 2004’s The Real Gilligan’s Island reality show. But straight-to-video’s not enough, it seems. The canny ol’ bastard and his…

Will Leitch

Will Leitch don’t like the bling, yo. Referred to by some as the sports world’s Jon Stewart, this outspoken/irreverent young grump founded Deadspin.com with the notion of returning our morally bankrupt pastimes to the glory days of thrill of victory/agony of defeat. He’s an advocate for the long-suffering Joe Schmoe,…

Bob Riggle

The correspondent for Comedy Central’s The Daily Show With Jon Stewart performs. Sat., Jan. 26, 8 p.m., 2008…

Tanks for the Memories

Our locks dip below our shoulders and our T-shirt features an image of Dubya and Cheney man-hugging beneath the catch phrase “Meet the Fuckers,” so we’re probably not the target demo for the folks behind the Papago Military Vehicle Show. But even conscientious objectors should dig the unusual antique and…

Beautician and the Beasts

Attention, ladies. Next time you’re getting guff from your man about an expensive salon visit, hand him a copy of Deborah Rodriguez’s Kabul Beauty School: An American Woman Goes Behind the Veil, a story that chronicles the author’s relief work in Afghanistan shortly after the fall of the Taliban. He’ll…

Eh? Okay.

Since this is a piece about O Canada, we’ll try not to say “eh?” Uh, too late. Okay, while we’re at it, all Canadians live in igloos and eat blubber. Now that that’s out of the way, check out the 56th annual Great Canadian Picnic. Yes, there will be curling…

Wookiee of the Year

Interviewing Peter Mayhew can be a little intimidating. Putting aside the fact that the daunting, 7-foot-2 British-born actor has already been asked every question in the galaxy about what it was like to portray the fierce-yet-fuzzy Chewbacca in four of the six films in the Star Wars cycle, it probably…

Mutha Nature

Ask any Phoenix hiker where she/he’s off to on a Saturday morning, and the answer is inevitably Camelback Mountain or Piestewa Peak. Yaaaaawn. As romantic and adventurous as they may seem to a 500-pound shut-in, most hikers are timid types who prefer the comforting ruts made by their own boots…

Check It Out

The Heard Museum Guild Library Book & Treasure Market isn’t the biggest literature offload of the year, or the most publicized, but it’s one of the best, where you can paw through the Guild’s relatively modest but off-the-beaten-path selection of priced-to-move tomes, music, and movies. Sat., Jan. 26, 9 a.m.-4…

Roy Story

Roy Orbison rarely expressed anything celebratory in his work. In songs like “Blue Angel” and “Mean Woman Blues,” he — and we — found joy in heartache, beauty in the shades of gray in which Orbison’s music resides. So one wonders what the late singer would have made of the…

Indie Rawks

Remember every supersweet local act you’ve seen at Modified Arts? Well, there’s a supergood-ass chance that they’ll be playing during Modifest, a sidewalk art fair and live-music potpourri showcasing more than 20 bands. Here’s the rundown of groups who’ll be performing each day. Friday, Jan. 25: What Laura Says Thinks…

Greasy Lightning

You know that garage rat who spends every waking moment tweaking his ride with hopes that he can one day compete in a sanctioned drag race? Problem is, when an event like the NHRA National Time Trials rolls into town, it draws all of those funnycar big boys who live…

Dumb and Dumbest

The 2006 trapped-in-a-cave film The Descent is sorta dopey, but its albino, Nosferatu rat monsters are truly creepy. The pigment-challenged critters in the 1984 trapped-in-a-cave film What Waits Below are just plain dopey – like, original Star Trek dopey. Still, dorky demons don’t faze the Midnite Movie Mamacita, and our…

Family Guy Presents: Blue Harvest, now on DVD, is a Wookiee mistake

Family Guy Presents: Blue Harvest (Fox) As someone with no use for Seth MacFarlane’s potty-mouthed Simpsons rip, I’ll admit to choking out a few giggles during his Star Wars send-up — though, truth be told, it’s slightly less daring than Spaceballs and, sure, Porn Wars. Stunningly faithful to the 30-year-old…

It’s more of the same in Woody Allen’s Cassandra’s Dream

“I do think the writing is pessimistic — all that stuff about life being a tragic experience,” says Angela Stark (played by newcomer Hayley Atwell) early in Woody Allen’s Cassandra’s Dream. An actress talking about the play she’s appearing in at a small London theater, Stark could just as well…

Unreal Tournament III blasts new holes in old terrain

Unreal Tournament III is ideal for overcaffeinated teenage boys with PlayStation 3s, broadband internet connections, extensive online friend lists, hours and hours of time to blow, and — just for good measure — a deep appreciation of the steroid-addled dystopian sci-fi aesthetic. You know, the one where men are 450…