Rated Arrrrr

Humor is like beer. You could slam the same brew day after day — but new flavors, though scary, can rock. Such are the pleasures of “Blar Lar Lar,” an evening of comedy and music presented by Light Rail Pirates. “The idea,” says LRP’s Jacque Arend, “is to incorporate music…

Drinking Game

Most American sports are better with brewskis. Beer-league softball. Golf. Fishing. Then you’ve got your lower tier of “kids’ games” that are suddenly adult-approved once suds get involved. Dodgeball. WhirlyBall. And now kickball — as in the NAKAD Kickball League, sponsored by the National Athletic Kickball Adult Division. The rules…

Bruise Brothers

Is wrestling fixed? Do toddlers cry? Is it hot here in July? Do you not give two poops, because you think anything involving turnbuckles and metal chairs is the coolest? Then check out WWE Presents Smackdown & ECW, starring Boogeyman, the Great Khali, Batista, and many more…

Bloody Good

Having worked on more than 50 graphic novels for Marvel, DC, and other big-league imprints and penning everything from screenplays to a weekly Web column for the punk-pinup SuicideGirls, Warren Ellis might be the busiest writer in pop entertainment you’ve never heard of — though that could change. Fresh from…

Bringing Down the Houses

It’s hard to imagine the delicate arrangements and understated instrumentation of Portland chamber-pop collective Eskimo & Sons providing the soundtrack to a summertime house party. But there they are, barnstorming the West at such storied venues as Ian’s House in Long Beach, 445 Hampshire Street in San Francisco, and K-House…

License to Ill

1975. David Carradine has just laid down his nunchucks as Kwai Chang “Grass-hoppa” Kane in Kung Fu. Sylvester Stallone is an unknown pug whose mug will soon be known all over the globe. B-movie producer Roger Corman is at the peak of his power. Together, this unlikely triad will create…

The Magnificent Sevens

The auspicious 7/7/07 went off without a hitch — unless you count the thousands of couples who got hitched hoping that the lucky sevens might somehow decrease their odds of divorce. Las Vegas was packed with superstitious wackos hovering over slot machines. And Tupac is still dead despite his crazed…

Message in a Battle

They’re the most underappreciated talents in theater, falling somewhere between the ticket taker and the lighting designer in the recognition department. Playwrights seldom get their due, a fact that local author Richard Warren has been trying to rectify for the past decade with Phoenix Theatre’s New Works Festival. Warren selects…

Absolut Power

Hey, fellas, ever wonder what truly goes on during an exclusive ladies night? Maybe your girlfriend meets a Prince Charming with all of the qualities you lack. You know, a tall, attractive Dapper Dan who can wield a garlic press like no other, quote Rumi, talk about feminine emotions, and…

Bath of Least Resistance

Can’t quite pin down the odor that’s living in the house? Ever think it could be your bitch, uh, dog that’s stinkin’ up the joint? A visit to Wag N’ Wash Self-Service Dog Wash — a cutesy, colorful pet emporium that provides all the equipment and space you need to…

Masterpiece Theater

If you thought architects were a bunch of boring blueprint lovers, you’re probably not familiar with Frank Lloyd Wright’s dramatic life story. Fired for moonlighting on the job, Wright fled to Italy with a client’s wife. After returning to the States, his lover was killed after an ax-wielding servant torched…

The Tao of Stevie

If you were a white guy of a certain age and sexual inclination in 1977, chances are astronomically good that you had the following posters hanging on your wall: Led Zeppelin, Farrah Fawcett-Majors, and Stevie Nicks. The first two are obvious choices. Stevie was not. The spun-glass songbird was considered…

Southern Discomfort

Coupla weeks back, the Arizona Diamondbacks broadcast team coined the moniker “Bratstock” for a four-day series in Milwaukee. When Chipper Jones, John Smoltz, and the Atlanta Braves visit our snakemen for a three-game series, maybe they should call it “Taco Stand.” Want a nice, cold Mexican beer to wash that…

New Times‘ top DVD picks scheduled for release on July 17

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (Shout!) Avenue Montaigne (THINKfilm) Baxter (Lionsgate) The Best of the Colgate Comedy Hour (Passport) Beer Drinkers in Space (Tempe) Birdman & the Galaxy Trio: The Complete Series (Turner) Esther Williams: Volume 1 (Warner Bros.) Gunsmoke: The First Season (Paramount) The Happy Hooker Trilogy (MGM) The…

Man Down

Nothing if not appropriate for summer blockbuster season, Werner Herzog’s latest feature, based on his 1997 documentary Little Dieter Needs to Fly, offers a suitably fantastic tale of war, freedom, and fortitude, set in the jungles of Indochina and featuring an immigrant lad who turns out to be just as…

Hairspray, Get Back to Your Roots!

Did John Waters sell out? Or did our ever-more-metrosexual age merely render him irrelevant? Certainly long before Hairspray took up residence on the Great White Way in 2002, Waters had abdicated his throne as America’s elder statesman of underground smut in favor of a more lucrative career as a neutered…

Friends With Benefits

I wanted to hate I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. Truly I did. Two straight guys pretending to be gay (insert fiscal excuse here); been there, done that (insert all known variants on The Odd Couple here). Rampant homophobia hiding behind liberal pleas for tolerance — blech. And it’s…

Please, Louise

My friend Michelle met me at Desert Stages the other night to watch its production of Footloose. I think Michelle looks exactly like Jodie Foster during her short-brown-hair period, and when we’re out together and I get bored, I like to pretend Michelle is Jodie Foster and that I’m friends…

Cold War Reheated

Red Dawn: Collector’s Edition (MGM) John Milius’ 1984 war pic was a mighty bonkers release even back then; not since the 1950s had something come down the pike so rife with Commie paranoia. Russian and Cuban forces invade the U.S. with tanks and choppers and the whole shebang, only to…

Dim and Dimmer

The last hour of The Darkness is exactly what the game should have been from its opening moments: a magnificent, bloodthirsty mix of firepower and hellish wrath. Playing the role of Jackie Estacado — a hit man who inherited demonic powers via a family curse — you will spend the…

Xana-don’t!

There appears to be a conspiracy afoot, one designed to prevent people of a certain age from forgetting one of the worst movie musicals of all time. And believe me, we’d like to forget Xanadu. But someone — a secret government agency? a group of especially nasty theater queens? —…

Theater Scene

Footloose: Kick off your Sunday shoes. No, seriously. Because the stage musical adaptation of Herbert Ross 1984 teen scene flick is back, this time for more than a month at Hale Center Theatre (not to be confused with the Desert Stages production, reviewed on page 46), where teenage rebellion and…