The chilly winter season is almost here, and thigh-high leather boots are on the shelves again for any exotic dancer thinking about adding a pair to her collection. On the way, too, is Super Bowl XXX and its attendant business, which should pump the Valley’s thriving exotic dance industry full…
Threatened with legal action for telling a handicapped Valley woman that she couldn’t get inexpensive wheelchair-accessible seats to an upcoming musical, Arizona State University’s Gammage Auditorium officials have changed their tune. Sherrie Petersen, a local musician, called Gammage several weeks ago to ask about tickets to The Phantom of the…
A ttorney General Grant Woods failed to force Governor J. Fife Symington III’s 1994 reelection campaign committee to refund excess contributions from a lobbyist, state records show. Marvin Homer Cronberg, executive director of the Arizona Automobile Dealers Association, contributed at least $1,640 to Symington’s 1994 reelection committee, far above the…
Janet Spears will spend Thanksgiving Day alone, but she is not particularly upset about it. It is true that her two teenage daughters will spend the holiday with her ex-husband, and that her house, a modest but modern two-story duplex in Mesa, will seem empty without them. But Janet, a…
I always wanted one. A little guy on my shoulder with the wings and sheet outfit, whispering in my ear, giving me tips on positive options, pointing out the stupid moves, keeping the devil and his seductive bag o’ tricks at bay. Heavyweight brainiacs through the ages–Goethe, Milton, Dante and…
Slo-mo through the wedding sequence from Disney’s The Little Mermaid and it’s hard to tell who’s more excited about the nuptials–the bride or the tumescent bishop who’s officiating the ceremony. And even after repeated viewings of the blink-and-you-miss-it video vignette, some stunned Mermaid viewers continue to ask, “Is that a…
The chain letter says that a young man is terminally ill. His biggest wish is to get into the Guinness Book of Records for collecting the greatest number of business cards. Please send a business card, the letter asks, and pass the request to ten others. And they, in turn,…
Funky Fife Facts of the Week Governor J. Fife Symington III placed widely different values on his development projects, depending on whether he was seeking a loan (high, banker-friendly values) or was paying property taxes (low, tax-reducing valuations). Below are the values Symington claimed at the Maricopa County property-tax office…
Federal agents investigating the October 9 derailment of an Amtrak passenger train suspect that one or more of the rescuers who were on the scene that morning might have been responsible for the sabotage. One key piece of evidence–a letter claiming responsibility that had been taped to a wall inside…
You don’t need a doctor to get melatonin. But, for the latest tips on crime prevention, you do need the advice of Dr. Crime Lab. Now, from his spartan cell at the Madison Street Jail, the Doctor fields a few questions from concerned readers. Remember, he’s got decades of criminal…
God knows, I like to take a handful of pills as much as the next man, especially when they can do really fabulous things. What exactly do I mean by fabulous? Try reversing the aging process, boosting sex drive and inducing sleep. That’s right, I’m talking about what everybody else…
Guv ’til It Hurts Congratulations to Michael Lacey on a brilliant piece of journalism (“Trusting in Family Values,” November 9)! God, how I hunger for well-written, eloquent, truthful articles spiced with brilliant, stabbing humor at the Fifester’s (shyster’s?) shenanigans, and bringing down a peg or two his high-and-mighty, above-the-law attitude…
As the early morning sun creeps across the desert horizon on little cat feet, the mayor of Meow City steps out of his travel trailer and reports to work. “You guys ready for breakfast?” asks Greg LaTraille, the only human resident of his “retirement community for senior cats.” With low,…
An overloaded camper stumbled off Interstate 40. Furniture and other items were piled inside and on top, along with five kids and their parents and their dogs and grandma and gramps besides. The vehicle coughed its way onto historic Route 66 in Kingman after a journey that had begun in…
Last week, Governor Fife Symington told the howler monkeys who listen to KFYI talk radio that he was the victim of “a legal ambush” in bankruptcy court. From the governor’s tone of shock, you’d think the bankruptcy lawyers sprang upon him during his morning shower. In any case, the question…
Governor J. Fife Symington III’s personal financial statements submitted during his sworn debtor’s exam October 31 in U.S. Bankruptcy Court are so jammed with inconsistencies that a legal challenge by creditors is virtually assured. The conflicting data should provide ample evidence for Symington’s primary creditor, a consortium of union pension…
There is one line that Bob Dylan left out of his immortal ballad “Blowin’ in the Wind”: How many fecal violations does it take/ For a sewage treatment plant to qualify as having the second-best operations in the land? The answer, my friend, is one. And the plant at 91st…
The Beaten Path I was amazed at the ugliness of the people who run The Open Door Shelter for battered women, but mostly I was shocked to discover that someone has the nerve to call a battered woman “scum” (“Shelter Skelter,” Amy Silverman, October 26). That statement was a clear…
Peggy Dyer grew up in Texas, and three years ago, after she bought a house and land in north Scottsdale, she decided to buy herself a longhorn cow to decorate it. So she and the man who is now her husband, Keith Brock, drove to Texas and picked out a…
There is no receptionist to greet a visitor venturing into the Law Offices of Bybee and Shaw. In fact, the law office lacks virtually all of the staff and amenities one would expect to find. There is no secretary, no paralegal, no copy machine, no art on the walls, no…
Woods in Romley’s Cross Hairs Two highly placed sources say Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley and his “ITeam”–which has left no stone unturned in search of wrongdoing by Arizona’s first assistant attorney general, Rob Carey–are drawing a bead on a new target: Attorney General Grant Woods. The sources say Romley…
Debt has long been an addiction of Arizona Governor J. Fife Symington III. Symington’s fondness for borrowing dates back more than 23 years, when his first marriage ended with Maricopa County divorce records stating that Symington had accumulated heavy debts and wasn’t “gainfully” employed. More recently, Symington has relied repeatedly…
