Vaseline on her teeth provides a smooth-sliding smile. Her breasts are routinely taped to achieve a Barbie doll’s bustline. A light coat of spray adhesive applied to her derriäre ensures that there will be no unsightly wrinkles when she promenades through the swimsuit competition. When it comes to cosmetic wizardry,…
As wars go, it started quietly. And although the Battle of the Placards didn’t make the evening news or draw much notice from the newspapers, it left a legion of veterans with tales to tell. It began shortly before Vice President Dan Quayle delivered the only public speech of his…
The function of law enforcement is the prevention of crime and the apprehension of criminals . . . not the manufactur[e] of crime. –Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren in Sherman v. United States The butcher is addicted. He loves the AzScam trial. Every morning he arrives early at court…
Three days a week at 5:30 in the morning, with the sun not yet up, Mayor Paul Johnson laces up his Asics Gel running shoes for a ten-mile run. He meets a coterie of city employees, staff members, police officers and the occasional local politician, and 10 to 15 at…
Keith Miller moved to Arizona in 1987, when the state had just begun its political self-immolation. Evan Mecham, a Pontiac dealer and longtime election loser, had lucked into the governor’s office and had quickly turned Martin Luther King Jr., dead almost 20 years and universally hailed as a titan of…
Maybe, just maybe, Governor Fife Symington won’t have to worry anymore about the reporter whose scoops consistently embarrassed him. Then again, says John Dougherty, late of the Mesa Tribune, from his new home in Flagstaff, “You never know when I’ll run into something up here about Fife that needs to…
The Walkman-wearing dude frying at poolside no doubt spoke for most of his fellow Arizona State University students. “I don’t want to get involved in the controversy,” he said. Yet involved he was, plopped beside the Ocotillo dorm, soaking up the September sun, because Ocotillo is the site of Umoja…
Some of your constituents think you sold them out. –Alabama Senator Howell Heflin to John McCain That terrible judgment, made at the opening of the Senate Ethics Committee hearings, sticks in my mind. I will always remember the guilty grimace on John McCain’s face. He sat there uncomfortably with the…
John McLaughlin, former Jesuit priest turned television pundit, was asked one day why so many people treated him with such respect. According to his assistant, Kara Swisher, McLaughlin “got down really low on his desk, almost like he was a lizard.” Then he looked up at Swisher and replied, “They’re…
The man from China sat in his chair and wept. Thousands of miles from his homeland, Quan Lu had been answering questions in an airless room in Florence, Arizona. “It must have been difficult for your wife,” said the man sitting next to Lu, and with that simple remark, the…
Antony and Cleopatra! Romeo and Juliet! Liz and Larry! In the grand tradition of those legendary lovers comes a newsome twosome determined to add their own names to that romantic roster. Meet Paula Grecco and Michael Modzelewski, the Valley newlyweds who dare to ask the question, “Can a Playboy bunny…
Christine Walker had already enraged many of those she governed. For more than two years, the secretive leader of the Chemehuevi Indians had used the unique powers and autonomy of her tribal government’s semisovereign status to undertake what many describe as a systematic course of despotism and corruption. Allegations of…
The news from the small river town of Saltillo, Mexico, is Earth-related but not earthshaking: The clay tiles that are the area’s most famous export–and a popular flooring material for Arizona patios and kitchens–are going to be changing. The reason? The tile makers fire their kilns with old automobile tires,…
Ten years ago, when state health officials first learned that children in Maryvale were dying of leukemia at twice the national rate, they delayed further health studies of the west-side community and quietly covered up the problem. When news reports of Arizona Department of Health Services’ four-year delay in studying…
You subscribe to a newspaper, but it never arrives. You’re upset and want your money back, right? Likely not, if you happen to be one of the “charter subscribers” to Evan Mecham’s would-be newspaper, Arizona News Day. Originally slated to go to press in September 1991, the “newspaper” has taken…
Doug Wead, the preacher-turned-politician who moved to Arizona last year looking for work in Washington, D.C., was one giant step closer to becoming a congressman. It was a few minutes past 10 p.m. on September 8, and the early returns showed Wead well ahead of two opponents in the primary…
The Arizona Republic is really cashing in these days on its connection to Vice President Dan Quayle, but the newspaper’s not exactly tooting its own horn about it. Twice this month, the Republic, which is owned and operated by Quayle’s Pulliam relatives, has been savaged by national magazines Newsweek and…
The national media went crazy over the rape, especially since it came so quickly after the shooting. –Barry Switzer, former University of Oklahoma football coach, in Bootlegger’s Boy Let’s examine the events surrounding Arizona State University’s fleet-footed quarterback and admitted sneak thief, Garrick McGee. Charles Harris, the slippery, smooth-talking athletic…
“I think that eight or nine years ago they made a mistake,” says Mayor Paul Johnson. “You had a group of merchants who were down there and were making it work, but it was a new mayor and council looking to get downtown redeveloped. It ended up being an experiment…
Amid the orange groves of Mesa, the boys play catch. A dozen baseballs snap through the bright air. From their matching tee shirts and the casual formation they’ve made along the left-field line, these boys look like teammates, and this seems to be an organized practice. From their calm eyes…
If it shines, it’s as a symbol; in every other way, Square One is worn down at the heels. It squats in the center of downtown, an entire block of shuttered buildings, all of them scarred with posters tacked up long ago by AIDS activists and the fans of L…
Bill Rathje talks trash. He makes offal puns. He’s the duke of disposable debris, the garbage guru. Like Indiana Jones, Rathje is an archaeologist. And like that fictional University of Chicago prof, this actual University of Arizona prof occasionally finds himself in sticky situations. But they’ve got different ideas about…
