Elissa Wall, a.k.a., Warren Jeffs’ Jane Doe… Pardon me if I crow like the Feathered Bastard that I am, but what was all over the news last night but 21-year-old Elissa Wall, formerly known as Jane Doe in the press, addressing a horde of reporters? This was, of course, following…
Cpt. John Birch, Baptist, U.S. intelligence officer, and inventor of the missionary position. It isn’t often that someone contradicts themselves so blatantly in the comments to this blog as has Bryan Turner, the AZ state coordinator for the John Birch Society, whom I met Saturday as he was manning the…
Michael Israel’s Lady Liberty, painted live on the premises. “So where are the slaves and the dead Indians?” That was my first thought on arrival at Mesquite High School this Saturday evening for Gilbert’s 6th annual Constitution Week Fair, an event celebrating America’s founding document, with George and Martha Washington…
Jeez, dudes, get a room! J.T. Ready and Russell Pearce snuggling at an anti-immigrant rally in June. Have you seen Russell Pearce’s new toupee? Pearce sports his new rug on his Pearce for Congress Exploratory Committee Web site. He also loses the glasses in an obvious attempt to look younger…
Elissa Wall, age 14, in a photo released by her lawyers. As the jury in the rape-as-accomplice trial of FLDS leader Warren Jeffs recessed for the weekend, attorneys for his accuser revealed her name, Elissa Wall. They also provided a photo of Wall at age 14, one just published in…
Who gets the blame for Officer Erfle’s murder? According to nativist wing-nut logic, they do! I’ve heard the anonymous voice before. The cowardly creep has called in to my phone mail previously to tell me why the Holocaust never happened, why Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy after all, why…
Look at this incompetent putz. No wonder our cops are getting killed right and left. They say Nero fiddled while Rome burned, and Phil “Goober” Gordon suns himself in the tropics and passes the buck as PHX cops are boldly shot down during daylight in the center of the city…
OH, MAMMA Tough love was needed: The nightmarish details of this trip are astounding (“Eurotrashed,” Megan Irwin, September 13). However, the students and the adults who hold “Mamma D” blameless are fools. This woman recklessly abandoned her role as the adult in charge; being popular meant more to her than…
Dear Readers: A couple of weeks ago, I asked half-breeds to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in — gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary. Enjoy! If you’re half-Mexican…
It came as little surprise to most people in the know that Buckeye Police Chief Dan Saban lost his recent defamation trial against Sheriff Joe Arpaio and company. That’s not to say that Saban didn’t have legitimate gripes with how key members of the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office had worked…
Know what Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris has in common with Joe Arpaio henchman David Hendershott and County Attorney lapdog Barnett Lotstein? Nah, they’re not subscribers to Cosmo, though that was this mischievous mallard’s first guess, too. Give up? They’ve all figured out how to increase their salaries by doing…
It doesn’t have quite the same ring as “Banned in Boston,” but Phoenix New Times could be “Banned in the Chandler Library” if this dip Larry Edwards gets his way. Edwards is reportedly the prig who complained to the Chandler Library about New Times being on the shelves of the…
Slain PHX Police Officer Nick Erfle. Like you needed more proof we live in the Wild Wild West: PHX Police Officer Nick Erfle was shot dead Tuesday morning in Central Phoenix, during rush hour, after stopping a man for jaywalking, and attempting to arrest him for priors. This was near…
Supporters of convicted Border Patrol Agents Ignacio “Nacho” Ramos and Jose Compean often tout the case as a miscarriage of justice, an instance where two true-blue BPAs ended up the victims of an overzealous prosecutor. As I stated in my recent Bird column “Anti-Heroes,” it’s obvious from the transcripts of…
El Diablo… Still wicked… The true victim… Is Laurie Roberts trying to sprout a conscience? Does she no longer wish to be the Repugnant’s soccer-momish Queen of Mean? On Wednesday, she was decrying ASU Prez Michael Crow for using private donations to fund undocumented students. She claimed Crow was thumbing…
Fred Goldman on Oprah: If you spot him in the men’s section at Nordstrom, don’t ask to try on the size 12 Bruno Maglis… Anyone catch the Valley’s most famous Nordstrom employee on Oprah yesterday? I’m talking about the silver-mustachioed Fred Goldman, father of O.J. Simpson-victim Ron. See, Goldman, who…
Dean Martin’s new song: Everybody hates somebody sometime… Immediately after AZ State Treasurer Dean Martin was informed by The Arizona Republic that ASU’s Michael Crow was helping undocumented students with private funds, ya know what he said? “Taxpayers should not have to foot the bill for them, and this is…
CRETIN HOP An exception for Virginia?: What happened to Virginia Gutierrez is an outrage that’s just beginning (“No, Virginia,” Stephen Lemons, The Bird, August 30). My prediction is that we’re going to see more and more of this as the illegal immigration debate continues in this country. That is, more…
I am addressing this to both ¡Ask a Mexican! and Savage Love, hoping one of you will have an answer to this: Why do Mexican chicks yell for their papi during sex? Daddy del Diablo Dear Readers: Daddy del Diablo sent the above query to both the Mexican and Dan…
Is it possible this nutty nightingale actually had fun at a nativist hoedown? Specifically one where half the crowd would’ve loved to tear this toucan a new one? What can The Bird say? It was a hoot crossing swords with all the anti-illegal immigrant types present at a recent fundraiser…
Pinal County Supervisor Sandie Smith stood at her front door, barefoot, and she did not want to talk. She had ignored three phone calls, opportunities to answer claims that she is running restaurateur Dale Bell out of business. “That’s between the county attorney and him,” Smith said. Actually it was…
When Jamie Bates boarded Delta Flight 86 bound for London, she was excited and a little nervous. She’d just graduated and was about to set off on the trip of a lifetime: 28 days in Europe with 80 current and former Dobson High School students. Her family paid more than…
