Terry Goddard’s new slogan: A tranny in every bog! To cop a line from comedienne Margaret Cho: Ah, the magical smell of balls and pantyhose! You best get used to it ladies, if Attorney General Terry Goddard and local diversity activist Michele de LaFreniere have anything to do about it…
Wack-ass graff: Detail from pics of Goober Gordon’s HQ (below). You’d think with a million smackers in the bank, PHX Mayor Phil “Goober” Gordon could keep the ex-tranny bar on Roosevelt he calls a campaign HQ free of urban blight. But as mayoral contender Steve Lory pointed out with a…
The phone call from the collection agency back in May should’ve been expected. The caller was looking for Todd Davis, the CEO of one of the nation’s fastest-growing anti-identity-theft companies, Tempe-based LifeLock. When Davis picked up the phone, the collection agency told him he had failed to pay back a…
Why dont Mexicans ever drop their Spanish? Even third- and fourth-generation Mexican-Americans still speak the language to some degree or another. I speak Japanese, but Im losing it quickly, and when my mother passes on, so will my language. The typical Asian-American kid may attend Chinese, Korean, or Japanese school…
FLASHES OF GENIUS A vampires on the line: I couldn’t stop reading Michele Laudig’s “The Wheel World” (July 5). I haven’t seen the Comedy Central show yet, but I can’t wait. I love stories about people who follow their dreams and wind up cashing in. You know why? Because that…
Published online July 17, 2007, 5:59 p.m. MST COPYRIGHT 2007, Phoenix New Times You wouldn’t think, in 2007, that a restaurant would be allowed to serve only men. In this day and age, surely even the Phoenix Country Club wouldn’t forbid women from entering one of its dining rooms, much…
Sun Tzu, the first Republican? Back in the 6th Century B.C., renowned Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu wrote in his seminal treatise The Art of War that all warfare is based on deception. One might apply this observation to modern politics, which is war by other means, to paraphrase Clausewitz…
Buddha by the PHX’s El Mac and El Lay’s RETNA. Nice to know the ink-slingers over at New Times’ sister paper in L.A. have some taste. I might’ve thought otherwise had they not – ironically – chosen an image from one of the most talented street artists in the PHX…
Dumbass songstress Kay Rivoli, wonderin’ why she has to press 1 for English. Rusty Childress has the problem licked, he just gives Spanish speakers their own # to call. One of the incessant whines of the nativist crowd has to do with having to press 1 for English (as opposed…
Dear Gabachos: You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after the Senate allowed an amnesty bill to collapse like the pesos value, ustedes bombarded the Mexican with typo-heavy valentines. To commemorate Americas latest amnesic spell regarding its immigrants and assimilation (previous examples include the Chinese Exclusion Act, the…
This brazen buzzard found out firsthand just how much he’s despised by car-peddler Rusty Childress’ confederates while crashing (in disguise) one of the wing-nutty gabfests Childress holds every Thursday night at his Phoenix KIA dealership. Assembled anti-immigrationists spent a whole half an hour ranting and scheming about this blushing bird-of-paradise…
SHOP TALK Greenes odyssey: Great story on Sam Greene’s big adventure (“The Wheel World,” Michele Laudig, July 5). The fact that he worked for 20 years with no luck (well, he made $200 from his writing) makes his recent success with American Body Shop so much more appealing. It’s not…
Outside the entrance of ASU’s old gym on a warm Saturday in May, hundreds of teenage girls stand in full prom get-ups, chattering, shrieking, and hugging in the way only adolescent girls should. It’s a windy day and the girls fidget with their hair and poofy dresses while they wait…
What a mother! One of the latest Bird boycott letters, signed by Stephanie Harris of Mothers Against Illegal Aliens As Feathered Bastard’s co-clucker The Bird mentioned this week in his column, Rusty’s World, some New Times advertisers have been receiving various versions of the above form letter, distributed at Randy…
Hey, that’s one way to keep him off the OxyContin… It’s a rare event when I agree with the likes of Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Michael Savage, and so on. But when it comes to liberals and prominent Democrats who want to revive the so-called “Fairness Doctrine,” the…
In my ongoing attempt to spotlight what noteworthy PHX graff I can find out on those much-buffed streets, here are a few snaps I shot this Sunday while driving around. One is definitely from the SOS crew, the others I have no idea about, so feel free to school me…
Yours truly with rocker Evan Seinfeld and the hella-hot Tera Patrick… Porn mogul and First Amendment defender Larry Flynt has long been my personal hero. Technically, he’s also my old boss, as I used to write for Hustler back in the day, though I’ve only talked to him while interviewing…
The Chez’s beauties: Gyana (left); Naima (right); and Amina Uben (center), mother of both. It’s been such a hectic week with the Fourth and all, that I haven’t had a chance to blog about the last night at Chez Nous, the 40-plus year-old drinking parlor at Indian School Rd. and…
Unrelated to the following, an actual pink firearm that I found at www.jimsgunsupply.com. A national underground movement of pink pistol packin’ lesbos runnin’ around, attacking het doods, and forcibly “indoctrinating” straight chicks into the lesbian lifestyle? As Paris Hilton would say, “That’s hot.” Sadly, it’s not true, though when I…
I welcome the inclusion of a nice, big scoop of chopped habañeros in the bland casserole that is America. I must admit, however, it gave me pause the other day when I saw an all-too-typical familia of recent arrivals at Kmart: mom, pop and four kids less than 5 years…
People are getting restless. The oppressive late-afternoon sun is glaring down on the parking lot outside Desert Body & Custom in Chandler, and about 50 onlookers — many of them in wheelchairs — are gathered, waiting for the body shop owner to stop fidgeting with a shoddy microphone. He’s standing…
They’re partyin’ in the trailer parks. Pass out the free Skoal and Old Milwaukee. The knuckledragger Know Nothings, wing-nut nativists, white supremacists, and toothless beaner-bashers won the day as hopes for a Congressional compromise on comprehensive immigration reform were trounced in the U.S. Senate. “Down in Flames! Amen and Halaluya!”…
