How does Sheriff Joe Arpaio get away — metaphorically speaking — with murder? With the assistance of useful idiots in the Fourth Estate, as this P.O.d parakeet has witnessed time and time again. Whether he’s deputizing Spider-Man, throwing some imbecilic Inmate Idle competition or making the asinine suggestion that Paris…
This month, Phoenix Municipal Court Judge Karyn Klausner did something that no one in her position had done for decades. She quit. Didn’t retire. Didn’t get pushed out by the city council, and didn’t leave for an appointment to another court. Nope, Klausner just decided to walk. And with that…
PAIN AND PLEASURE Pauls perk: I’m sure your Mistress Seven article gave every male reader a boner (“Belle of the Ball Gag,” Paul Rubin, May 17) but what place does it have in the excellent, hard-hitting New Times newspaper? After the fare Paul Rubin has provided over the years, I’m…
Has the 1965 Immigration Act proved to be a good thing or bad thing for America, and has the recent unprecedented flood of immigrants (both legal and illegal) been an overall good thing or bad thing for America? Please fully explain your answer and include economical, cultural, and quality-of-life issues…
In April 2005, local entrepreneur Robert J. Maynard Jr. was beyond broke. At 43, with an ex-wife and two kids, he told the government in his bankruptcy filing that he had $20 in his pocket and $15 in the bank. He was hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Maynard,…
Smokin’ cheddar: The amazing Dick Cheese with his band, sans Old Spice… Can you smell it, people — the magical aroma of Dick Cheese with Old Spice? Whether loving homage or (more likely) blatant rip-off, the new Old Spice commercial featuring Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell crooning a lounge-y version…
Chuey mixes up a “Chuey special,” with extra Chuey-juice… “It’s like Terri Schiavo night in here,” cracks my pal and personal hero Chuey the Rock ‘n’ Roll Midget. “You know, tryin’ to stay alive.” I glance around. The crowd’s almost two deep at the world’s first ever fully-functioning midget bar,…
J. Edgar Hoover must be rollin’ over in his bloomers: One of his FBI agents, a hardened criminal? That’s the tale told by campus cops at Tucson’s University of Arizona, where Agent Ryan Seese was arrested May 3, shortly after a cleaning lady observed him whackin’ off in the women’s…
Chris Simcox is not in this way-awesome band, but he is in a monkey knife fight… Well, either Chris Simcox was bullshitting me last night by telling me only three MCDC minutemen had been kicked out of his org. ( see my earlier post, “Monkey Knife Fight at the MCDC:…
Now which one is Chris Simcox? It’s a regular monkey knife fight down at the Scottsdale HQ of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps, where alpha male prez Chris Simcox, aka “The Little Prince,” has recently purged anywhere from three to 14 members for revolting against his iron rule and asking…
Last fall, a sophomore at Arizona State University named Matthew Jezierski started a club in honor of a group he considers to be oppressed and undervalued: the white male. The Caucasian American Men of ASU grabbed attention thanks to the club’s name, but Jezierski insisted it wasn’t a white pride…
This B-ball-lovin’ loon’s madder than Alec Baldwin on a cell phone call to his daughter! Over the Suns’ 114-106 loss to the San Antonio Spurs in Game 6 of the Western Conference semifinals, of course. Why, this crestfallen kingfisher consumed an entire bottle of Old Crow to drown its dejection…
Robert “Gypsy” Comer, whose path to death by lethal injection was paved with bad intentions, sent a series of letters to New Times before his execution on the morning of Tuesday, May 22. “I’m ready, and I’ve been ready,” he wrote from his cell in Florence on April 29, “though…
SOLAR FLARE-UPS HOAs just dont “get” it: Sarah Fenske’s column on homeowners associations raised some great points, and it doesn’t hurt that she writes about such a potentially mundane topic with wit and flair (“Let the Sunshine In,” May 10). Once my husband, Tom Rawles, is off the Mesa City…
I was going through a local state colleges academic program the other day and found that the school offers a bachelors degree in Chicano studies. My question is in what field of work would someone with a bachelors in Chicano studies land? Here are a few jobs I came up…
Gee, Captain Horne, you think we’ll last till September? Though the last thing the PHX metro area needs is less competition among its news entities, that might be what’s coming this summer with the rumored demise of the small-but-scrappy Scottsdale Tribune, the Scottsdale edition of Mesa’s East Valley Tribune. According…
Don’t cry, Stevie. You’ve at least got one good year left… Can there be any doubt two-time MVP Steve Nash is the goat of the series pitting the Suns against arch-rival San Antonio? I know, I know. David Stern’s an ass for penalizing Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for getting…
Will someone pull the dirty ol’ Sheriff away from Paris? For Christ’s sake… I can barely stand to watch CNN news-harpy Nancy Grace as the bizzatch almost always looks like she’s about to bite the head off someone’s baby. But as I was flippin’ channels the other night, I saw…
Yo, Dave, what’s that brown stuff on your lip? Ewww, never mind… Can anyone doubt after last night’s Suns-Spurs donnybrook dat we wuz robbed? Minus Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw, the mighty Suns dominated that game for 40-plus minutes, only running low on solar power towards the very end. As…
So imagine this. You’re home on a Thursday night, watching TV. You live with your college sweetheart, a fellow journalist, a guy you’d once planned to marry. But you broke up a couple of months ago, and although you’re still living together, he hasn’t been home in two days. Then…
Phoenix New Times writers were honored for stories about botched immigration reform, contemporary Native American art, an army peacenik, and more at the annual Arizona Press Club banquet, held May 12 in Phoenix. The contest honored the best Arizona print journalism in 2006. New Times captured 19 awards, including 8…
FOOD FOR THOUGHT Giving vegans a bad name: I agree with your comment in “Diet From Hell” (Ray Stern, May 10) that, maybe, a worse problem in the United States than starving your children is feeding them nearly to death. You see a lot more odiously fat kids at the…
