Ain’t no cake walk for Flake’s new bill, but it does offer hope. At first glance, Rep. Jeff Flake’s new immigration reform bill seems to offer hope of a compromise on the issue between the pro and anti camps. It presents a pathway to legal residency for the 12 to…
Paris Troy Hotter than a Georgia firecracker; so hot you could bake bread on her back, or maybe a frozen pizza…uh, you get the picture. For some reason Thump Day Honey sounds a lot cooler than Hump Day Honey, and it also gives me an extra day to snag a…
http://www.almaweb.org/about/richard.htm Rep. columnist Ruelas is all smiles, despite the killing of his column. Following on the heels of the news of Jon Talton’s imminent departure at the Arizona Repugnant, I now learn that my other favorite columnist at the Rep, Richard Ruelas, has also had his column cut. Unlike Talton,…
Steve Bison of Alabama’s Cherokee River Indian Community says the war over 4-year-old Raven Laws may be traced back to the legendary Battle of Horseshoe Bend. “It’s a long story,” he says. Fought during the War of 1812, it pitted soldiers under the leadership of General Andrew Jackson and their…
Hmmm, this Phoenix firebird speaks with forked tongue — at least when it comes to the New Times story on white-trash diva Anna Nicole Smith’s Native American love child, “Tohono O’odham with Love” (March 8, 2007). Lest you’ve been on a spelunking expedition for the past two weeks, you’ll know…
Robin Scoins is the perfect face for the argument against Arizona Child Protective Services. And she believes that’s exactly why she’s drawn the ire of state representative Pete Hershberger. Three years ago, Scoins lost her newborn son to CPS custody. The agency claimed, falsely, that she’d tested positive for crystal…
A Child Shall Fool Them Editors note:We’re straying from our usual Letters format to publish an assortment of responses (edited from our Web site) to our satirical story on Anna Nicole Smith’s secret love child with a Tohono O’odham tribesman (see The Bird for complete details). Some readers caught on…
Dear Readers: Muchas, muchas responses to my March 8 column asking whether I should keep this column’s gold-toothed, mustachioed, sombrero-wearing fat Mexican logo and what should I name him. The overwhelming majority of ustedes support amnesty for the wab, but a few folks also made articulate arguments in favor of…
WikimediaCommons Rosie the Rotund takes a hit off the 9/11 troofer crackpipe. Proving true the adage that even a cracked clock is right twice a day, Mexican immigrant-basher Darrell Ankkkarlo of KTAR 92.3 FM dumped on roly-poly bigmouth Rosie O’Donnell this Tuesday morn re: her support for 9/11 conspiracy theories…
http://www.jontalton.com/ Someone crank up the Dion: “Anybody here seen my old friend Jon? Can you tell me where he’s gone?” Sadly, it seems the Arizona Republic’s massive reorganization, which I wrote about back in January, into an online Information Center that also happens to put out a daily paper, has…
A Royal pain: Tabloid talking head Royal Oakes Check this Friday, March 16 post from The Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (AAN) concerning the Anna Nicole spoof and the somewhat preachy piece from the TV show that birthed Bill O’Reilly, Inside Edition: Phoenix New Times’ Anna Nicole Story is — Gasp!…
Jim Moret & moi: As you can see, Jimbo’s dreading that drive to Sells. Now that the word’s out that our wildly successful Anna Nicole Smith spoof was, um, a spoof, I can reveal the events of this Monday that resulted in Thursday’s Inside Edition segment on yours truly and…
Be afraid, be very afraid: Mandal season is upon us. You know it’s Spring in the Zona when they appear — the dreaded mandals, or man sandals, which signal the advent of warmer weather. I regard it as being on par with such Biblical plagues as locusts, frogs, water turned…
http://www.myspace.com/ankarlo Ankkkarlo loves the misery of others, especially if they’re illegals… KTAR saliva jockey Darrell Ankarlo was practically beating off on the radio this morning in ecstasy over the news of three teenagers being deported to Mexico after being stopped by a Gilbert police officer for drag racing. Sure, if…
Eve and the apple: Temptress Tondra says fruit does a body good. Common wisdom holds that booful women are bitchy because they can be. But fortunately that doesn’t apply in the case of the captivating PHX club-hopper known as Tondra. A habitue of nightspots like The Rogue, GLAM, Tranzylvania, and…
I am perplexed. I just saw a middle-aged wab (complete with a bright red, lipstick-accentuated mustache) wearing tight pink stretch pants with the phrase “Pink Taco” emblazoned across her misshapen buttocks. In my experience, Mexicans of the Mexico-born variety seem to wear a lot of clothes with odd/tacky slogans. My…
At one time, Pat Cantelme made no secret of his interest in vying for ambulance work in the city of Phoenix. Two years ago, he briefly discussed the matter with a New Times reporter, saying that he saw Phoenix as a potential market for his private ambulance company, PMT. (See…
In case you missed it, this pugnacious parrot had yuks aplenty sparring with wing-nutty blowhard Darrell Ankarlo on a Friday edition of his KTAR-FM 92.3 morning show. The Cro-Magnon-esque conservative invited this cranky cock-of-the-rock on for some verbal fisticuffs over The Bird’s column “Hate Jock” (March 1, 2007) that had…
Hot for Teacher Let lying dogs sleep: This Ken Lamberton guy must have a big pair of balls to write about his sordid past. You would think he would be hiding under a rock for what he did (“Redemption Song,” Megan Irwin, March 1). If he hadn’t tried to profit…
Bob Khan and Nick Brunacini were high-school pals who became closer than brothers. They played freshman football at Cortez High School, served as groomsmen at each other’s weddings, and even lived together for a while. As young men, both joined the Phoenix Fire Department, where Nick’s dad was chief. Both…
www.lastgasp.com The official coloring book in gangsta’s paradise. If you’re KTAR’s Darrell Ankarlo, the poor man’s Sean Hannity, that means you’ve got to fill three-and-a-half hours each day with spleen, even if it means exaggerating the topic a bit. Case in point was a segment on today’s show about San…
Ignignokt and Err flip Phoenix the bird at the Lost Leaf gallery… The highlight of my First Friday artwalk last week was not scopin’ all the drunken art babes, but checking out Ignignokt and Err, those Mooninite characters from Adult Swim’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force , whom I found hanging…
