Ryan Gaumont, What Are You Eating?

Ryan Gaumont

The member of Bully Mammoth, a local group that performs written comedy, performs at the Phoenix Fringe Festival on Friday, April 9 at 8:30 p.m. at Space 55.

What’d you eat for dinner last night? Pizza and beer. But the pizza had mushrooms on it, so it was totally healthy.

Favorite food: Thanksgiving (everything part of that).

Least favorite food: Broccoli happens to be the foulest tasting thing on the planet, I don’t care how much cheese you put on it.

Favorite dessert: It’s hard to say no to a slice of red velvet cake these days. That, or those popsicles that tell you jokes.

Favorite local restaurant and meal to order there: Cornish Pasty– The Pilgrim (see Favorite Food).

Favorite local bar and cocktail to order there: I’m a man of class, so anywhere that has Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap. I’m there.

Favorite thing to cook at home: Cereal.

Favorite memory involving food: I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6, and my mother was making broccoli cheese soup (I know, all I am doing is bashing broccoli today). Sounded disgusting to me, and I went into brat mode declaring “I ain’t eating that!” Dinner comes, I sit idly not touching my soup, and the fury in my mother builds. Attempting to dodge getting yelled at, I now declare, “I don’t feel very good,” in an attempt to leave the table. To call my bluff, my mother says, “I’ll take your temperature, but if you don’t have a fever I’m going to shove this soup down your throat!” She brings in the thermometer and I sit for 2 very long minutes. Finally, she examines it to reveal I have a temperature of 102 or something. I was saved by the gods that share my hatred of broccoli!

Recipe or food tip to share: Frozen White Castle burgers are nothing like the real thing.