Los Altos Ranch Market #501
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If you haven’t yet seen Tina Fey’s hilarious and biting call to action on SNL, you should take a look. In essence, she suggests that in lieu of getting swept up in the violence of the upcoming protests planned for this weekend, you should go out and buy a sheet cake from a minority-owned bakery.
Then scream into it as you devour the entire thing, and with it, some of your frustrations.
Sound crazy? It might be the sanest thing we’ve heard all week.
Here are three Mexican bakeries where you can “join the grassroots movement” and buy your sheet cake.
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Los Altos Ranch Market, multiple Valley locations
There are branches of Los Altos Ranch Market all over the Valley, and they sell a mean duche de leche sheet cake. And guess what? They even have one pre-printed with the American flag.
La Purisima Pasteleria, Glendale
Though they specialize in Mexican pastries, like molasses-flavored cochinitos, giant pink cookies shaped like pigs, and apples dipped in salty-sweet chocolate chamoy sauce, they also make beautiful cakes. Call ahead to preorder or to see what they have ready-made.
Food City, various Valley locations
The bakery at Food City sells all kinds of traditional Mexican sweets, as well as quarter-, half-, and full-size sheet cakes. Order your American flag cake and they will have it ready within half a day.