Audio By Carbonatix
If there were a field guide to spotting members of a political party, the Arizona Democrat would be listed as a “rare bird.”
Still, there are some identifiable types of Democrats from here, as observed in their natural habitats. Check out our run-down of 10 types of Arizona Dems:
See also:
–10 Types of Arizona Republicans
10.) The Pot-Smokin’ Hippie
Attributes:
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- Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that.
- “Dude . . .”
- Patchouli scent.
9.) The Anti-Republican
Attributes:
- Political beliefs consist of, “Republicans suck.”
- Does not appear to have own beliefs.
- Doesn’t seem concerned about issues, just how stupid Republicans are.
8.) The Socialist
Attributes:
- Most sentences start with, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we could all . . .”
- No sarcasm can be detected when they call President Obama “center-right.”
- Is actually down with sharing.
7.) The Hipster
Attributes:
- Wears short-shorts, but swears it’s the Republicans who are uncool.
- Is the Democratic equivalent of the frat boy.
- Was pulling for Hillary in ’08.
6.) The Pro-Immigrant
Attributes:
- The most common one-issue Democrat around here.
- Could probably pass for Republican, if not for resistance to local immigrant-haters.
- Not always undocumented immigrants, despite belief of local immigrant-haters.
5.) The Party Parrot
Attributes:
- Speaks like a script to an MSNBC show.
- Actually does repeat lines from MSNBC shows.
- Still blames everything on George W. Bush.
4.) The Republican
Attributes:
- After being exposed to hardcore teabaggers, now assumes he or she is a Democrat.
- As the name implies, this person identifies with more Republican ideals.
- May call self a “moderate Democrat.”
3.) The Occupier
Attributes:
- Tries to prove points by sleeping in public.
- Does not know the points he or she is trying to prove.
- “Mic check.”
2.) The Prius Driver
Attributes:
- Also known as the pseudo-environmentalist.
- Is “green,” in the sense that “green” is a fashion statement to keep up with the Joneses.
- Probably tosses cigarette butts out of the window of that Prius.
1.) The Non-Existent
Attributes:
- Most common type of Arizona Democrat.
