Audio By Carbonatix
Pending a signature from Governor Jan Brewer, the Arizona Legislature has made it official — show us the birth certificate.
Or your circumcision certificate, early baptismal certificate, hospital birth record, postpartum medical record, or an early census record.
That’s right, the state House passedthe “Birther Bill” to the governor, just in case a real Kenyan ever tries to sneak his way into the White House.
Governor Brewer has five days to sign, veto, or ignore the bill and let it become law — which would force any presidential or vice-presidential candidate to provide the Arizona secretary of state with at least two of the aforementioned documents, if he or she can’t cough up a birth certificate.
When news happens, Phoenix New Times is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
Now, if you can document that you don’t have a foreskin or were baptized as a baby, that’s apparently incontrovertible proof that you’re a U.S. citizen, and that pair of non-legal certificates can be used in lieu of a birth certificate.
However, as my colleague James King notes, pulling out your penis in front of election officials will not prove citizenship — and could quite possibly earn you a sex-offender label.
On the other hand, the Legislature may have just passed a law that’s more lax than the federal statute, which already requires candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate for a presidential bid.
Instead, lawmakers have paved a pathway for anyone with quasi-legal documents describing their penis or religious experiences to get on the ballot in Arizona.
Read the amended text of the bill passed by the legislature here.
