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If you’re the type of person who still has faith in humanity, you probably haven’t seen the list of 27,438 custom license plates that have been rejected in Arizona.
This list includes people who wanted to drive around every day with their license plates reading “BBYDCK,” “HOTNUTZ,” “VAGKING,” or one of the 27,435 other mostly stupid ideas that have been rejected.
The Arizona Department of Transportation provided the list as a result of a public-records request filed by New Times, after we noticed a man’s very public concerns about circumcision, along with his “NOCIRCM” license plate.
Turns out, “UNCUT,” “UNCUT4,” “UNCUT8,” “UNCUT9,” and “UNKUT1” all were denied.
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However, foreskin descriptions are among the least-pathetic license plates people weren’t allowed to get.
In fact, just skimming through the list we found 24 license plates in which people wanted to advertise their allegedly large penises:
BGDICK, BIGCOCK, BIGDCK, BIGDICK, BIGDIK, BIGCOQ, BIGDK, BIGDNG, BIGDONG, BIGHOSE, BIGICK, BIGJUNK, BIGMEAT, BIGPCKG, BIGPP, BIGPRIX, BIGROD, BIGTHNG, BIGWIRM, BIGWANG, BIGWYRM, BIG1OIN, B1GJNSN, and B1GWORM.
Really? Is this the world we live in? There’s a government employee who had to prevent “BIGPP” and “B1GJNSN” from pulling up next to each other at a stop light and starting a penis-measuring match?
ADOT probably prevented a marriage between “CMYBALZ” and “CMYPUSS,” but we’ll forgive them. Someone actually had to say to the neo-Nazis, no, you can’t have the “WITEPWR” or “JEWLIES” license plate. Nor will you have a run-in with “BIGNIG.”
However, they probably crushed the dreams of the 10 people who wanted some variant of “big pimpin’.” Think about the more than 200 variations we found of “badass.” How will we ever know when all these badasses and pimps are driving around us?
The section on things people “H8” is really how you know this list is Arizonan, including “H8MVD,” “H8MYWYF,” “IH8LIBS,” “IH8KIDS,” and “H8OBAMA.” (Don’t forget “FKOBAMA,” “FUOBAMA,” and “OBMASUX.”)
If you’d like to learn more about how depraved our society has become, or if you’d like to see if “ASSWIPE,” “BALICKR,” or “IMHORNY” have already been banned (they have), check out the whole list below:
Arizona Rejected/Revoked Personalized License Plate Configurations
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Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.