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Halloween’s just a few weeks away, so we’ve got some Arizona-themed costume ideas for you.
Check out our top 10 picks for Arizona costumes:
10.) Teabagger
There’s a reason there’s a horror movie titled Red State.
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Tips:
-Create a misspelled nonsense sign like “Keep yer gubmint hands off my Medicare!”
-Use pliers to pull out extra teeth (you need only about six total)
-Prepare hysterical rants about Obama and why he’s the new Hitler
9.) Cactus
Represent the only thing most people around the country know about Arizona.
Tips:
-Get a cactus costume
-Consider a sexy cactus costume
8.) Alien
Arizonans have always had a strange obsession with aliens, and most people still aren’t over the “Phoenix lights.”
Tips:
-Any ol’ alien costume will do
-The Fife Symington costume would be most authentic
7.) Mormon
A common species of Arizonan. Hit ’em right in the stereotype.
Tips:
-Bring along a kindergarten class full of children
-Wear the magic underwear
-The bicycle missionary is an easy one to pull off
6.) Jan Brewer
A lot easier than it sounds.
Tips:
-Store-bought Leatherface or witch costumes will do
-The paper-bag method also works
-Pour a glass of scotch to accessorize
5.) Old Person
In addition to cacti, this is the other thing people know about Arizona.
Tips:
-Death scent
-Golf cart
-Long, drawn-out stories with no point
4.) Gun Nut
Stand your ground this Halloween.
Tips:
-Guns
-More guns
-One or two more guns
-NRA bumper sticker
3.) Joe Arpaio/MCSO Deputy
This one’s a real crowd-pleaser in the Latino neighborhoods.
Tips:
-Get three friends with darker skin to be on your chain gang
-If that sounds racist, that’s because it is, and that’s the point
2.) Meth-Head
Another staple of the Arizona landscape.
Tips:
-Just wear a zombie costume and carry around a meth pipe
-Use a meth-head mentality (like offering to have sex with a stranger in a public restroom in exchange for candy)
1.) The Sun
C’mon.
Tips:
-Find a store-bought sun costume
-Carry around a space heater so people know you’re the Arizona sun
-Try to make a “dry heat”
Send feedback and tips to the author.
Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.
