The Phoenix Police Department wants to make itself very clear: If you shine a laser pointer at a police aircraft and get caught, you should prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law.They didn’t use those words exactly, but Phoenix police Sergeant James Holmes wants Phoenix residents…
A San Diego man was ridin’ dirty through Goodyear yesterday, but Department of Public Safety officers cleaned him up.Rap metaphors aside, a guy got busted with about 17 pounds of crystal meth hidden in the bumper of his car…
Keeping with tradition, Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard made an announcement about the federal healthcare bill that was signed into law yesterday but failed to take a stance on the bill itself.(Pssst! Hey, Terry, when you want to be governor sometimes you have to pick a side.)Goddard announced today that…
If you plan on heading to Mesa Community College tomorrow to protest Sheriff Joe Arpaio, you’ll have to leave your “Joe Sucks” sign at home — the fuzz isn’t allowing signs on the campus while the sheriff speaks with a group of college Republicans.Kevin Fosburgh, president of the Mesa Community…
If you’re compelled to seek advice on life from a guy who is about to stand trial for the “self-help” deaths of three people, you might as well jump in front of the next bus you see.James Arthur Ray, the “self-help” stooge responsible for organizing a “spiritual warrior” sweat-lodge retreat…
All good things must come to an end, but it sucks when they end in Chicago.The Phoenix Coyotes nine-game winning streak came to a painful end last night when the Yotes were shut out 2-0 by the Chicago Blackhawks, breaking a tie between the two teams for first place in…
After the controversial healthcare bill became law yesterday morning, former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin unveiled her political hit list of the members of Congress she hopes to see voted out of office in November.In the Palin-ator’s crosshairs are three of Arizona’s five Democratic members of Congress, including Tucson Congresswoman Gabrielle…
Here is your guide to today’s spring training games, as well as a look at some of yesterday’s games that most Valley baseball fans actually care about (sorry, Rangers fans, there’s nothin’ here for you unless your boys happen to play against the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers, or the Cubs):Arizona Diamondbacks: Did not…
A Gilbert Rabbi was arrested today in the 2000 rape of a 7-year-old girl in New York City.The U.S. Marshals Service tells New Times that its Child Predator Apprehension Team and detectives with the New York Police Department picked up 45-year-old Bryan Bramley outside of the Temple Beth Shalom Synagogue…
If anyone feels like protesting, we’ve got the venue for you.Despite getting heckled at a speaking engagement at ASU a few months ago, Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced today that he has no plans of canceling one scheduled at Mesa Community College on Thursday, despite threats that protesters will be on…
A member of GOP Senate hopeful J.D. Hayworth’s campaign staff apparently thinks Senator John McCain — Hayworth’s opponent in the Republican primary — “turned [his] back” on his Navy colleagues.Shane Wikfors, Hayworth’s campaign field director, takes a jab at McCain on Twitter, attacking his service to the United States Navy, where…
A right-wing Southern blogger’s responding to the passage of the federal healthcare bill the way a pissed-off 12-year-old might respond when a neighbor hands out crappy Halloween candy.Mike Vanderboegh of Pinson, Alabama runs a blog called Sipsey Street Irregulars, dedicated to a “strict constructionist, libertarian point of view,” and has begun…
State Attorney General Terry Goddard, the lone Democratic candidate for governor, has lost his once vast lead over all Republican candidates, the latest poll shows.He still trounces Governor Jan Brewer, though (no shock there)…
Former Congressman J.D. Hayworth is speaking out against the controversial healthcare reform bill that passed Sunday night, and he’s using a bunch of shoulda, coulda, woulda’s to blast John McCain, his opponent in the GOP primary for U.S. Senate.Hayworth says if he’d been in the Senate in December — when the…
Here is your guide to today’s spring training games, as well as a look at some of yesterday’s games that most Valley baseball fans actually care about (sorry, Royals fans, there’s nothin’ here for you unless your boys happen to play against the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers, or the Cubs):Arizona Diamondbacks: The Diamondbacks beat…
If you’re too fucked up to stay conscious when getting questioned by a cop, you’re too fucked up to be driving a car, stupid.A California man learned that lesson the hard way after passing out in front of a Yavapai County Sheriff’s deputy when he was pulled over for speeding on a…
We just learned this afternoon that when the World Wrestling Entertainment comes to Phoenix for WrestleMania this weekend, Bob “Mr. Baseball” Uecker will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Uecker is best-known for announcing Milwaukee Brewers baseball games and for his roles as George Owens in Mr. Belvedere and…
The U.S. Senate-approved healthcare-reform bill passed in the House of Representatives yesterday, and Senator John McCain isn’t happy about it. McCain is particularly peeved with how the bill came to muster enough votes and as a result, has pledged that Republicans will not cooperate with Democrats for the rest of the year.Way…
CBS has declined an opportunity to speak with beleaguered sex-great Tiger Woods because Tiger would only allow a five-minute interview.Really? Turning down one of the most sought-after interviews in the world right now over a time requirement? Someone should tell CBS it takes a lot less than five minutes to…
Following the cues of countless other former celebs, boxer and Scottsdale resident Mike Tyson will be featured in his own reality show on Animal Planet, where he will participate in one of the most classic hood-rat games in existence: Pigeon racing. Since there are animals involved, and Mike Tyson’s “Mike…
After two big wins this weekend, the Phoenix Coyotes find themselves in an unlikely spot: tied for first place in the Western Conference and number two overall on ESPN’s weekly power rankings.The Coyotes got two shootout wins this weekend, beating the Chicago Blackhawks 5-4 in front of a sold-out, home…
Here is your guide to today’s spring training games, as well as a look at some of yesterday’s games that most Valley baseball fans actually care about (sorry, Padres fans, there’s nothin’ here for you unless your boys happen to play against the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers, or the Cubs): Arizona Diamondbacks:…
