Missing Person Alert: 57-Year-Old Patricia Hipshire
Patricia Hipshire is missing, and the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office needs your help finding her.Hipshire, 57, was last seen on Monday August 22, at the Apache Junction Library…
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Are the Arizona Diamondbacks a World Series Team?
So….did you hear the one about the Arizona Diamondbacks being the hottest team in baseball?It’s not a joke, it’s a fact: the Arizona Diamondbacks, with nine straight wins, are the hottest team in baseball.The D-Backs now lead the National League West by six games, with about a month left to…
Joe Arpaio to Host Fundraiser For Matt Salmon — a Man Who Doesn’t Like Him, Doesn’t Trust Him, and Doesn’t Think He’s “Playing With a Full Deck”
If Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio hosted a fundraiser for everyone who doesn’t like him, doesn’t respect him, doesn’t think he’s “playing with a full deck,” and compares him to Mayberry’s bumbling lawman Barney Fife, he’d have no time for things like inmate coloring contests, or Elvis-themed panty parties at…
Police Say This Guy Tried to Abduct a 13-Year-Old Yesterday
If you think you recognize the face pictured above, call police — a guy who looks a lot like the above illustration apparently tried to abduct a 13-year-old girl in Chandler yesterday.According to the Chandler Police Department, the 13-year-old girl was nearly abducted by an unknown suspect in her neighborhood…
Roger Nelson Crashes Car at Mall, Robs a Shoe Store, and Pulls a Gun on a Cop. Credits Crime Spree to “Adrenaline High”
Adrenaline can make a person do lots of things; finish a marathon, lift heavy items, etc. Or, in the case of Roger Nelson, adrenaline can make a person crash his car into a mall, run inside to rob some shoes, and then pull a semi-automatic handgun on a police officer.That’s…
Joe Arpaio on Technology: “I’m the First One Who Put ‘www.MCSO.org’ on All Our Patrol Cars. We Have High-Tech”
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, by his own assessment, is a pretty tech-savvy guy.How could a guy who boasts about not knowing how to use a computer be such a technological whiz? Well, you see, Arpaio says he’s “high-tech” because he was the first person who concocted the brilliant plan…
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Arizona Diamondbacks Win Eighth Straight; Hold Six-Game Lead Over San Fran in NL West
The Arizona Diamondbacks got their bats moving last night during the team’s 9-4 win over the Colorado Rockies at Chase Field last night.The D-Backs had 14 hits last night, including a center-field jack from right-fielder Justin Upton that may not have landed yet.But Upton’s homer was just the icing on…
Who Will Win Phoenix Mayoral Run-Off Election: Greg Stanton or Wes Gullett?
Following yesterday’s election, it appears the keys to Phoenix City Hall will soon belong to either Greg Stanton or Wes Gullett (insert South Park “turd sandwich” “giant douche” reference here).Unofficial results show that Stanton scooped up about 38 percent of the vote, while Gullett came away with about 21 percent.To…
Two Murder Suspects Attack MCSO Detention Officers. Now They’ll Dine on Sheriff Joe’s “Loaf”
Two alleged creeps in jail on murder charges will be the latest to get a taste of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s “loaf,” which tends to be the breaks when you attempt to assault detention officers at one of the sheriff’s jails.According to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, the two…
Adeena Oswald, Booze, a Broomstick, and Her Autistic Son Leads to Another Tragic Case For CPS (to Botch)
What do you get when you combine 42-year-old Adeena Oswald, booze, a broomstick, and her autistic 12-year-old son? Another tragic case of child abuse for Child Protective Services to (attempt) to deal with.Oswald has a bit of a drinking problem. In fact, her 10-year-old daughter says it’s not uncommon for…
Jessica Callaway Had Trouble Deciding on Outfit Friday Night — So She Beat Her Infant Daughter Before Blowing Weed Smoke in Her Mouth
Jessica Callaway, 21, was caught on video Friday telling her 10-month-old baby to “shut the fuck up before I kick you in the mouth” as the infant was laying on the floor of her Gilbert home. Then she hit the baby in the face several times, apparently to get the…
Phoenix Cop Sheldon Czegledi Leaves $5 Deposit For Sex With Texas Hooker — Who Was Actually an Undercover Cop
If $45 for sex with a Texas hooker seems like a deal that’s too good to be true, that’s because it probably is — she could turn out to be a cop. Just ask Phoenix police officer Sheldon Czegledi, who got popped in El Paso last week for trying to…
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Warren Jeffs Coma Rumor Gains Steam Thanks to AP; Still Not True — Likely Started by People “in [Jeffs’] Camp”
Child-raping cult leader Warren Jeffs remains in critical but stable condition at a Texas hospital after starving himself in prison, where he’s currently serving a life sentence for sexually assaulting two underage followers of his breakaway sect of the Mormon Church. He’s still expected to make a full recovery, Texas…
Winner of Best Reader Caption for Photo of Attorney General Tom Horne: FormerRepublican
Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle FormerRepublican, you are the proud winner of this week’s New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be an appropriate caption for the above photo. We picked the five…
Does Arizona Really Need a “Louder Voice Nationally?” Really?
Governor Jan Brewer is currently considering moving the primary date in Arizona from February 28, to January 31, to give the state what the Associated Press describes as a “louder voice nationally.”Arizona’s “voice” in the national discussion lately has earned the state the nickname of “the meth-lab of democracy.” Another…
Warren Jeffs Didn’t Actually Starve Himself Into Coma; Prison Officials Tell New Times Source of Rumor Unknown
You may have gotten your hopes up this afternoon when ABC News’ rumor department ran with the story that convicted pervert Warren Jeffs is in a coma and not expected to survive after apparently starving himself in a Texas prison.We hate to disappoint anyone who wishes nothing but the worst…
Jasen Achando, Dad Who Left 11-Month-Old in Running Bathtub as He Took Nap, Pleads Not Guilty to Child Abuse Charges
The Tempe man who left his 11-month-old baby in a running bathtub while he and his baby-mama took a nap earlier this month was in a Maricopa County Superior Court this morning where he pleaded not guilty to one count of child abuse.The baby’s mother, who is also charged with…
Warren Jeffs is Starving Himself in Prison; Taken to Hospital in Critical Condition
Imprisoned pedophile Warren Jeffs must be pretty hungry — he apparently hasn’t eaten anything since he was sentenced to life in prison nearly three weeks ago, which has led to him getting rushed to a hospital in critical condition.Jeffs, the former leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of…
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Watch Comedian Katt Williams Tell a Hispanic Guy to Go Back to Mexico, “N**ga!”
Aside from calling a Hispanic guy a “nigga” at a performance in Phoenix last week, comedian Katt Williams also invited him to “go the fuck back” to Mexico.If it was a joke, it sucked.Williams, of Money Mike (um) fame, then led the crowd in a Rosanne Barr-esque rendition of the…
Joe Arpaio Goes to Illinois — and Acts Like a Complete Schmuck
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was in Kendall County, Illinois over the weekend and — as expected — got to talkin’ about the pink undies he provides to inmates in his jails.Arpaio told a crowd of GOP supporters that the inmates hate the pink skivvies, but he’s “sure in San…
Morning Poll: Best Reader Caption for Photo of Attorney General Tom Horne
Last week, in honor of Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne’s move to essentially overthrow the Voting Rights Act of 1965, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo we snapped of Horne at last year’s GOP election-night party for this week’s New Times’ You…
MCSO Traffic Stop Leads to Arrest of 7 Illegal Immigrants — Which is Six More Than Were Nabbed During Latest Immigrant Roundup
The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office’s Human Smuggling Unit nabbed seven illegal immigrants during a traffic stop last night — which is precisely six more immigrants than were arrested during Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s latest illegal immigrant roundup.That’s right, during Wednesday’s highly publicized immigrant roundup at a hotel in downtown Phoenix, Arpaio’s…