10 Things No One From Phoenix Ever Says

There are certain phrases people from Phoenix always use (“It’s a dry heat!”) but there are also some things people from Phoenix never say. Check out 10 things no one from Phoenix ever says:…

Maricopa County Mugshots of the Week: Potpourri

At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert’s own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we’ll take care of the rest. This week, we’ve got a bit of…

Arizona Ordered to Pay Up for Under-Funding Public Schools

A Maricopa County judge has ordered the state to fund public school districts to the levels mandated by voters, meaning Arizona has to pay up about $300 million this year. The courts have sided with school districts that argued the Legislature was under-funding schools, based on a 2000 voter-approved law…

Campaign Sign Silly-Season Well Under Way Around Phoenix

Campaign signs are the absolute worst — any claims made on them are typically irrelevant or false to a certain extent, and nobody wants the signs littering their neighborhood. Even worse, the signs seem to turn politicians and their staffers into juvenile delinquents every single election cycle, with sign theft…

Ask a Mexican on Taking Kids to the Movies

The Mexican just got married to a chica caliente, so he’s taken her on a honeymoon to the motherland so she can learn the proper art of tortilla-making. In the meanwhile, I offer this Best Of edition, because I plan to do all of my work this week en la…

James Woods, Democratic Congressional Candidate, Mails Condoms to Pro-Lifers

In response to a letter-writing campaign promoted by an anti-abortion organization, Democratic congressional candidate James Woods is mailing back condoms — campaign condoms. The form-letters sent to Woods, who’s running for the Congressional District 5 seat currently occupied by Republican Congressman Matt Salmon, asked him to sign a pledge to…

White Supremacist Gang Member Arrested After Assaulting Man at Bar

A Glendale man has been arrested after yelling racial slurs and hitting a man over the head with a beer bottle. Joseph David Burgoyne, 28, was at Denim and Diamonds Bar in Mesa when he allegedly yelled “white power” and “nigger” at the victim. When the victim confronted Burgoyne, Burgoyne…